Making a marriage last is not easy, it takes hard work and intentionality. Without intentionality, your marriage can become boring, you will take your spouse for granted, and you’ll wonder what happened to your best friend. Taking time to date each other no matter how long you’ve been married is the key to a long lasting, and connected relationship. Ever have those moments when you look over at your spouse and wonder, who is this person? I feel like I don’t even know them. Or you realized that you stopped playing together and laughing together. Today’s blog is here to help stir up some ideas on how to put some spark back in your relationship
Prioritize Couple Time
– Scheduled Date Nights: even if you have kids. Date nights shouldn’t always be about going out to dinner. You eat dinner in the same house every night. It’s important that you change up your date night to include different experiences. For example, go bowling or play putt putt golf together ( if you don’t play real golf). Take a date night cruise or go stargazing. Mix things up and make things exciting. The more you dream about different ways to date each other, the more fun will return to your relationship
– Morning Coffee Together: If the two of you have long schedules in which you’re apart for most of the day. Starting you day off in the morning, sitting in bed with coffee, tea, or even lemon water and talking about your day, is a nice way to connect before you spend the day apart. I know some of you are thinking, but I’m not a morning person! Why would I wake up for that?. You don’t have to be. You can drink your coffee half asleep and still listen to your partner talk about their day. If you have nowhere to go after the morning get together, slide back down and go back to sleep.
– Lunch Breaks: If both partners work from home, plan to have lunch together a few times a week. You can even order in on those days so no one has to cook and it feels like a real date.
Get the Kids Involved
– Family Activities: Engage in activities that the whole family can enjoy, but also carve out moments for just the two of you within those activities. If you have children, make Friday or Saturday your family nights. This is a night dedicated to no one but your family. This prevents the shuffling of kids to different activities, and having their friends spend the night. You and your spouse can connect to each other and to your children. Make it a fun movie or game night, put away all cell phones. While you watch a movie snuggle together as a couple ( don’t allow the kids between you). This is a great way to connect even though little ones are in the room.
– Kid-friendly Date Nights: Plan dates where kids can have their fun while you spend quality time together, like at a family-friendly restaurant with a play area or a picnic at the park
Babysitters and Family Help
– Hire a Babysitter: Even if it’s just for a few hours, a babysitter can provide much-needed alone time, which is crucial for mental well-being and relationship health.
– Family Help/Community Support: Ask family members to watch the kids occasionally so you can have a break. If you have family that can help, ask them to babysit overnight and do a stay at home date night. There is nothing like having the freedom to spend time together in the house without little ones interrupting. Order a steak meal, pick it up, light some candles and enjoy a romantic night in the house.
Stay Connected Throughout the Day
– Text Check-ins: Send each other sweet or funny texts during the day. You can send memes, jokes, a quick “i love you” or an emoji. Anything that says, “I was thinking about you today.” This is a great way to stay connected even though you’re apart.
– Video Calls: Have a quick video chat during lunch breaks or when the kids are napping. Regular face-to-face interaction can help maintain emotional closeness and reduce feelings of disconnection.
Plan Special Activities
– Weekend Getaways: Plan a weekend getaway, or even a staycation. Take time to make even the small things special and spend some much needed quality time together.
– Hobby Nights: Dedicate an evening to pursuing a shared hobby or interest. Engaging in enjoyable activities together can improve overall happiness and reduce stress.
– Exercise Together: Go for a run, bike ride, or workout session together while the kids are occupied. Physical activity is beneficial for mental health and can strengthen your bond.
Create Intimate Moments
– Evening Wind-Down: Spend time together after the kids go to bed, watching a movie or just talking. It’s important not to get caught up in the maintenance of the children and neglect the relationship. Even if you feel exhausted, make time to connect and talk at the end of a long day.
– Cuddle Time: Make time for cuddling, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day. Physical touch can lower stress levels and increase feelings of closeness. All it takes is a simple hug, some hand holding, sitting next to each other while you watch a show, or a friendly tap on partners butt (keep it friendly). All of these are great ways to promote connection and reduce stress.
Balance Responsibilities
– Share Parenting Duties: at the end of a long day it’s nice to share parenting duties. If each of you takes responsibility for bathing kids, putting kids to bed, saying night time prayers, then the load is lighter and there is a feeling of mutual support in the relationship.
– Household Chores: Sharing the household duties is important. If one cooks, the other can clean. You can even share them with your children! Teaching kids to help around the house reduces the load on everyone and prevents one person from becoming exhausted. Feeling exhausted in a relationship leads to disconnection and conflict. Helping each other get things done prevents that from happening.
Keep Communication Open
– Daily Check-ins: Check in, even if it’s just a simple and short text to let them know you are thinking about them.
– Weekly Meetings: Hold a weekly meeting to plan schedules, discuss any issues, and set goals for the week. Regular check-ins can prevent misunderstandings and promote a harmonious home environment.
Stay Spontaneous
– Surprise Gestures: Surprise your partner with little gestures of love and appreciation. Unexpected acts of kindness can boost mood and strengthen your bond.
– Spontaneous Outings: Take spontaneous outings when the opportunity arises, even if it’s just a quick walk together.